I have sat around far too much today.
Here's an email I sent to the local paper about Tesco in The Parade, Royal Leamington Spa.
Dear Local Paper,
While in Tesco, The Parade, Leamingston Spa last night I walked up to the
fresh bread section which was chock full of unsold, unsliced loaves.
“Can you slice this for me?” I asked the staff member nearby.
“Sorry, I don’t know how to. I can try and find someone else if you
like.”
I said it didn’t matter and then got a pre-sliced one.
Fairly mundane and boring until...two minutes later she took some big, pink
rubbish bags marked “NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION” and began to stuff the loaf I’d
been thinking of buying, and all the others into them one at a time.
I asked her what she was doing and she said that at a certain time each
night, all the unsold bread has to be thrown away.
It cannot be sold at a discount.
It cannot be given away.
Realising she was simply following orders I hunted out the store manager
who said that it is Tesco policy not to reduce the price or give the bread away.
It HAS to be chucked into the bin.
I mentioned that outside both front and back store entrances were two
homeless bums, sitting in the pouring rain begging for change. Why not give the
loaves to them?
“Sorry, I can’t. I’d like to but I can’t. Tesco policy,” he said looking a
bit embarrassed.
Tesco, you suck!
Lance Manley LLB (Hons)
-----------------------------------------------------
And here's an e-mail and my reply to some lying twat in my Google Mail today. I usually ignore them but was feeling especially crabby.
-----Original Message-----
From: Mrs.
Fareeda farad
Sent: Monday, May 13, 2013 7:10 PM
To:
undisclosed-recipients:
Subject: CAN I GIVE YOU THIS
TRUST???.
Dear,
It's my pleasure to have contact with you,
based on the critical
condition I find mine self, though, it's not financial
problem, but my
health, you might have know that cancer is not what to talk
home
about, though I don't know you, and my contact with you was not
by
mistake, but by divine favour of ALLAH.
I am married to Mr. Abdul
karim Farah who worked with Tunisia embassy
in Burkina Faso for nine years
before he died in the year 2008. We
were married for eleven years without a
child. He died after a brief
illness that lasted for five days.
Since
his death I decided not to remarry, When my late husband was
alive he
deposited the sum of US$ 8.2m(Eight million two hundred
thousand dollars)in a
bank in Ouagadougou the capital city of Burkina
Faso in west Africa Presently
this money is still in bank. He made
this money available for exportation of
Gold from Burkina Faso mining.
Recently, My Doctor told me that I don't have
much time to live
because of the cancer problem,
Having known my
condition I decided to hand you over this money to
take care of the
less-privileged people, you will utilize this money
the way I am going to
instruct herein. I want you to take 30 Percent
of the total money for your
personal use While 70% of the money will
go to charity" people and helping
the orphanage.
I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by the
Government. I grew
up as an Orphan and I don't have anybody as my family
member, just to
endeavour that the name of ALLAH is maintained. Am doing this
so that
ALLAH will forgive my sins and accept my soul because this
sickness
has suffered me so much.
As soon as I receive your reply I
shall give you the contact of the
bank in Burkina Faso and I will send
authority letter that will prove
you the present beneficiary of the money in
the bank that is if you
assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated
herein. Hoping to
receive your reply.
Regards,
Mrs. Fareeda
Farad
Written from Hospital.
-----Original Message-----
From: Kenilworth Boy
Sent: Wednesday, May 15, 2013 6:06 PM
To: safarh01@voila.fr
Subject: Re: CAN I GIVE YOU THIS TRUST???.
Where's the cancer? Your tits? Your lady hole? Your arse?
I think dishonesty is a sin so Allah may not let you into Paradise simply
for being a lying little cunt.
Fareeda Farad is an anagram of "Fade Afar Dear". So why don't you just do that and fornicate off.
Cheerio
Lance
