Tuesday, 29 September 2015

The Grateful

She was sought by all men. When she entered the room all heads turned and every heterosexual man in the room felt his breath catch in his throat. Beautiful beyond belief. Her blue dress cut to reveal just enough of her athletic, toned body to make the imagination run riot within the walls of its dreams.

Her perfume followed in her wake and as men gazed at her over their drinks, their wives and girlfriends felt the stabs of jealousy that tore into them. Some even wanted her for themselves. She was a creature of beauty. Incomparable to everyone in the room. Gorgeous and there. A reminder of the fleeting nature of perfection. Many men wanted her. As she was approached by the host of the party she smiled, her white teeth shining brightly and her lipstick glowing. Her full breasts moving gently in the low cut of her dress as she breathed. The host was rich, successful and arrogant beyond belief. A handsome man with wealth beyond measure. She was accompanied by her a date. A man some felt sorry for as he would now be embarrassed by the host's attempts to impress this beautiful woman, at the expense of her escort's pride.

As time passed this woman was envied by many, hated by some and wanted by most. She was wooed by a wealthy man with money, power and a penchant for extravagant gestures of affection. She was courted by several men who owned sports clubs, including two who held high grades within the martial arts. Toned, fit and able to defend her honour as well as their own. She was approached by older yet handsome men who wished to remind themselves of their own fading virility and lust for life.

Eventually she chose a suitor and after a brief courtship she accepted his proposal of marriage.

Some were shocked by her choice. Her betrothed was a moderately wealthy man with career prospects yet without the riches of other men who had tried to win her affections. While not ugly he was not as handsome as any of the other men who had gambled on winning her hand. He loved his mother and family very much. He liked children. He had had one previous fiance who he had discovered was having an affair...only a few weeks before their marriage was to go ahead, which he had cancelled in a flurry of heartbreak. Some could not fathom why she would choose him after only dating him for a short time.

The reason was simple.

He would never leave her. He was grateful to have her. He wouldn't lie to her. He wouldn't cheat on her. He wouldn't think of hurting her. He would always be there for her. When they had children he would be the perfect father.

In a world of uncertainty and insecurity, no man makes a better husband than one who is grateful to have you.

Saturday, 19 September 2015

Coby's Boys

Serious nightmare fuel from Coby Persin.

The "Boy" version of his social media experiment that proves some kids are gullible thickos.

Well worth a watch.

Monday, 14 September 2015

The Truth As I See It

Today I sent this email to my Union rep plus my boss and his boss. Was told this afternoon that the boss's boss had seen me walking past my place of work on crutches and had therefore surmised that I should be punching the clock if I was capable of getting about.


Further to our chat just now, here’s a scan of the sick note I was discharged from hospital with after a 2 hour operation under general anaesthetic where I had  four holes drilled in my left knee and then had my anterior crusciate ligament sewn together and gristle from within my knee scraped out.
I have CC’d ** and ** into this message.
I would like to remind all parties who are reading this email that me being seen near the depot on my crutches isn’t exactly a Yeti sighting. I live  in Leadswinger Street (7 minutes walk)  and have been instructed to get at least a 15 minute hobble per day in order to keep my leg healthy and speed up the healing process. I still need to eat three times a day and Co-Op are so very cheap. I also live alone and therefore need to remain independent with regard to fending for myself during my convalescent period. The two young ladies ** saw me with the day after my operation are friends, not nurses.

I am right now in the kind of pain that I would only wish on David Cameron.
I am currently taking Ibuprofen, Paracetomol, Morphine, and Tinzaparin Sodium due to my knee. 
I am also on 80mg a day of Propranolol (an anxiety suppressant) and Zimovane (a sleeping tablet).
The latter two were prescribed by my doctor following my precautionary suspension due to his professional opinion of the stress and anxiety I am now under.
I also have a prescription for Naproxen (Ibuprofen’s bigger brother) from tripping over the faulty elevator door at the depot. I have stopped taking this since I have been on the other drugs.
Finally, I have an appointment with the practice nurse on 23rd September to assess my knee and potentially to remove the dressings. Provided both the nurse and my trade union deem it appropriate, I will consider attending any Fact Finding meeting from that point forward. While I am in this much pain and  on these many drugs (and my urine potentially has a street value of £30 per litre to heroin addicts), it is unrealistic to expect me to be lucid and coherent in a formal meeting. The incident that led to my suspension was due to being in pain and on painkillers and I have no desire for an encore.
Have a wonderful day,