It’s been a while.
I saw you and we had some time together. We laughed, ate and smiled and kissed and then we went back to our own lives. The worlds we normally inhabit folded around us. They feel like well worn jeans. Comfortable and soft.
Every day I think of you. I sometimes try not to but that isn’t something I can master. Maybe I should take up some serious meditation. Would that fix it?
I doubt it.
I watched that movie Love Actually over Christmas. If you haven’t seen it then be forewarned. It’s a bit hit and miss. Lots of interweaving plots and stories about various people falling in love or dealing with the emotions that love can hurl at you Most of it was like meh! but one sequence struck a chord. A guy is nothing except rude, distant and cold to his best friend’s wife. She later finds out that it’s because he’s in love with her and when she says “But you don’t even like me!” he replies (after an almost painful silence) “It’s a self preservation thing”.
My own ego screams that you have moved on.
My rational head calmly states that you’re simply busy.
My heart whispers that you are probably feeling a mixture of emotions, not all of which involve me.
When I see your picture I feel like an adolescent teenager once more. Every emotion I ever felt for you was like a tsunami.
To me you are perfect, you always will be.
I can’t change how I feel and Christ knows, believe me I have tried.
For what we shared and left behind there’s a light that will never die.
No matter where you are I love you.