Thursday, 13 October 2016

The Beautiful Ghost

I dream as I normally do. It's fitful and sporadic, vivid and chaotic. Broken by spells of waking and then falling back into the velvet darkness to dream again.

I have recurring situations but not dreams themselves. Same places and sometimes people. Same cars and roads, never the same situation or conversations. I go on a coach journey that lasts a long time. I escape from a house that has people in it out to get me. I take the elevator in a hotel that has hidden floors and a parallel building that hardly anyone knows about.

I dream I'm in Hong Kong and I'm lost and then I wake up suddenly, my thoughts churning as reality and the world I've just been wrenched from suddenly collide. I lay there waiting for reality to stabilise itself. I breathe slowly and reach for the bottle of water next to my bed. I unscrew the cap and take a couple of gulps. Setting it back down I can still feel normality stabilising around me in the almost-dark of the room. It's hot in Crete, even for October and I sleep naked, no covers.

A voice next to me murmurs "Are you OK babe?"

I turn to her and she's lying there on her side facing me, naked too. I have woken her up and I smile and say "I'm fine". I look at her and she's as beautiful as she always is. Her body is smooth and tight, her brown eyes in the semi darkness are shining. She reaches over to push a stray lock of her behind my ear and her breasts move gently. She is gorgeous and I smile and she kisses me, her lips on mine and then I reach for her, to put my arm around her and pull her close to me, to hold her in the darkness.

My arm makes contact with the mattress, the cotton bed sheet rubbing against the side of my hand. I look again and she's gone. I realise she wasn't there, was never there. I was still dreaming. I blink and shake my head, futilely feeling around the mattress in case she's somewhere, anywhere.

But she's gone.

"Right. Just....Great" I murmur into the blackness.

I hadn't dreamed that she just appeared. I hadn't dreamed that I knew she shouldn't be there. In the dream she was there with me and I was not surprised to find her there. She was my lover and shared my bed.

I sigh into the darkness and lay down again on my side, staring at the space she was laying in and wait to fall asleep again.

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