Friday, 29 July 2016

I Didn't Want To Kick It

Why I'm leaving England

Best sung to the tune of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire"

Paul Hopgood, Paul Rose, Califano, who chose?
Bury Road, Eden Court, forget what you know.
Murphy's Bar for seven pints
Forget the rain, the pain, the shite
North Leam, South Leam, cutting off mid row

RJ Girl, Tesco, Createspace, Amazon
Get a grip, life is quick, PCSOs.

G4S, SIA, yet another rainy day
Do it quick, Chavs are sick
Jeremy Kyle

Johnson, Cameron, William's got a new son
Man United, Man City, what the holy fuck?!

I didn't want to kick it
But we lost our backbone
When Enoch Powell died
I didn't want to kick it
But Sophie Turner is a normal person

Eastenders, Corrie now, Fat couch potato cow
Top Gear, another beer, Celebrity Car Pool
Wayne Rooney, no one cares, Royal Queen, Royal heirs
Pokemon, One Direction, arse like a pear
Police who aren't trained to fight, driving is way too tight
Horse Fair, Hijab, Right of Free Speech
PCC, Legoland. Penny Dreadful got canned
Hillary, Donald Trump, ridiculous wig

I didn't want to kick it
But it really sucks shite
And it's way too tight
I didn't want to kick it
But it's way too long now
And it's the size of a cow

Krav Maga, Gradings, Fake shit, Hateful
No one cares, Sherlock, Star Trek's Doc
Five pounds for a pint, Murphy's bar, Put it right
Fat Pug, Fizzy Moon, Horrible Cunts

Unarmed cops, JSA, tazer team gone away
Common law, common sense, House of Lords
Chief Constable is a twat, Posh Spice got a new hat
Time to go, Theresa May, WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY?!

I didn't want to kick it
But it's rotten inside and and it's spilling out now
I didnt' want to kick it

But it's the same as it was when the Romans ruled us.

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