Thursday, 10 March 2016

An Unexpected Visit

I'm in the middle of a dream. Currently it's slightly chaotic and I'm not really paying much attention with my Third Voice to what's going on. Heisenberg and Pinkman from Breaking Bad are near to me for some reason and we appear to be in a large, irregularly designed, white warehouse. I tend to dream like this from the early hours of the morning when my REM sleep is at its zenith, right up until I actually heave myself out of bed for the first filter coffee.

Heisenberg mutters something but I'm not really paying attention, other people I'm also not paying any notice to start to drift past us. As I look over, on my left there are stone columns like you see at Vatican city in the plaza, beyond that are other people walking. But these aren't part of this reality, they are another one. I look again and it's clear that this is two dream worlds that are next to each other. Beyond the marble columns are people just walking and talking, women with push chairs and chattering. There is a slightly 'hubbuby' noise to their chatter, like when you hear people talking en mass at a swimming pool or in a train station when it's  busy. They are slightly indistinct. Imagine not tuning in the radio completely, being out by maybe a notch and a half. That  is how these people look, their world is separated from this one by an almost invisible barrier. If I step over it I'll be part of this dream world instead. Cool. Heisenberg and Pinkman are still nearby. I'm meandering near the columns, wondering whether to stay or go. A lot of the faces that I can see as they go past, slightly unfocussed, are Oriental in appearance like they come from China.

I'm still letting my dream state take me wherever it wants to go, when I see her. She's looking bewildered and a little scared. I haven't dreamed of her in a long time and now she's stood there. Wavy brown hair, big brown eyes and her gorgeous body in a green sweater and black trousers. She's wondering where she is. The world beyond those columns is her dream state not mine. Even as I dream I don't entertain the notion, even for a second that I've actually managed to pluck her from her REALITY into my dream world. But my Third Voice notes that this is monumentally cool to be dreaming about having a neighbouring dream state to someone else's, even if that in itself is only part of YOUR dream.

She sees me and her eyes light up hopefully. I walk over but she is afraid to be seen by the other characters that make up my dream world. She stands near one of the columns, not realising that all she has to do is simply step back and she can return. If she interacts with anyone from this world except me, she might have to stay and can't return. I know this even though no one has explained it to me. I just know. I briefly distract some people who are near her and then I walk over. She is as beautiful as I remember her. It's been 10 years since we met and although we're friends on social networks she never faded and is exactly how I remembered her but slightly older.

I say her name loudly and then "Good to see you" and take her gently by the arm. Other characters from my dream state then just drift by, no further attention being given to her. Then again she always did think that everyone was looking at her.

The fabric of her sweater is warm and I can feel the heat from her arm beneath it. I can smell her perfume and I feel that pang again for the loss and the lack of courage and all the things I never said before it was too late to make any kind of difference.

"I shouldn't be here" she says urgently. Her eyes darting.

"Can't you stay just a little while?"

She shakes her head. "No, they're waiting for me. They don't know where I am. I have to go back."

I nod  and put my arms around her waist and lift her up. She smiles and the light dances in her eyes. I go to kiss her and she giggles then whispers "Stop kissing me like that". I pause, then do it again and the third time she kisses me hard, holding my face with her hands and then I put her down and she smiles, stepping back into the world beyond the columns and she's gone. The view fades and changes and then the columns are still there but the view beyond is just more white floor.

I sigh as the world around me starts to dissolve and I know I'm waking up for real.

Some feelings are so strong that they transcend dreams.

I lay in the morning light of my untidy blankets, holding the dream for as long as I can until I reluctantly get up and make my way downstairs.

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