Sunday, 8 December 2013

Erase and Reboot


Until recently, I did, without really realising it, think I knew most of the things I needed to know.

It takes me AGES to finish a novel. I’ve been reading Conn Iggulden’s “Bones of the Hills” (an awesome book btw, if you’ve ever wondered just how much of a horrible cunt Genghis Khan might have been) for about 4 months.

I find it very hard to become addicted to a movie or TV show. Certain things grab my groin and hang on such as The Walking Dead or Game of Thrones but I have a habit of downloading movies, watching half and then turning it off and coming back later.**

I don’t try and chat women up the way some guys do. I will either have a real conversation or nothing. I don’t see the point in false talk just to get inside a pussy or get blown.

While I like getting fit and working out, I tend to let it slide. After all, I know that the pecs and six pack will come back if I start working out again, right?

Wrong.

I live on my own and my life is a Groundhog Day-esque routine of the Same Shit Happening Over & Over.

I get up, my cat wants feeding. Rather than poke my face she simply bats my possessions from the chest o’ drawers onto the bedroom floor. I get up, fart loudly and then trudge downstairs to feed her. I KNOW she will bolt down the stairs ahead of me to her bowl, going “brrp, rrr!” and then try and get her face in the bowl before I’ve finished putting the Felix pouch in it.

I’ll then try and get my contact lenses in in one go.

Then I'll have coffee, breakfast and later get changed.

This mini movie is the same nearly every day.

Problem with that is that you end up believing all aspects of life are just as predictable when they’re not.

Today I came home to find 2 guys passing a sofa over the wall next door to my flat. I live above a shop and the fire escape for the neighbour is too narrow to get a sofa down, especially in the dark. Two days ago the estranged ex boyf of the tenant (a violent, drunken cunt) tried to break into the flat after his former sweetheart locked him out. Police turned up and arrested him.

Like a lot of silly twats he didn’t try to fight until AFTER the handcuffs had gone on which resulted in him going down heavily on the floor and bashing his face open. He was then taken out to the street where he tried to headbutt one of the cops and was thrown down again. He then proceeded to shit himself on purpose and create a loud din while his mate filmed it all on his i-phone while pretending not to.

Better than Eastenders.

Thing is…when I came home tonight I automatically guessed that these guys were bad uns who’d come to probably loot the furniture of the poor woman that was moving out. One was stood on top of my wheely bin trying to take custody of the sofa his mate was passing over. Houdini would no doubt have been jealous of such a feat of dexterity and balance. The tenant’s son then appeared on the balcony and after a relatively pleasant chat (where I assumed he was the ex boyf merely pretending to be the son) he then lost his temper and ran down the fire escape to confront me (while stinking of beer) that it was none of my fucking business and he would protect his fucking family whatever the fucking cost and that I should fucking do one!

I stood my ground and after about a minute remembered to remove my spectacles but…this incident probably wouldn’t have occurred if I hadn’t automatically assumed that they were there as trouble makers as opposed to option B which was “guys trying to help out a relative/ mate’s mum in time of stress and worry”.

Nothing happened beyond a lot of foul language but it could quite easily have done.

So…I’ve now come to the conclusion that I don’t know as much as I thought I did. Be it about Krav Maga, sex, other people’s motive or how a book will end.

For most of my life I’ve had what Landmark Education call an “act”. It means a desire to be a different way to your own nature as you believe it will shield you and aid in acceptance by others.

Thing is...in the long term it does the exact opposite.

Being yourself is hard. It’s harder still when you’re 43 years old.


Still, going to be fun trying. 



*** Currently paused on Pacific Rim. Not sure if it's me being fussy or if this film is just shit if you don't see it at an IMAX cinema.

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