Monday, 11 February 2013

5 Slices of a 1970s Boy's TV Heaven (All Others)

Oh those haircuts and flares!!!

1). The Return Of The Saint

I was most pissed off the first time I watched this, that the stick man with the halo was only in the titles. At 8 years old, it was awesome to see a cartoon bloke chatting up birds and karate chopping villains. "Duel In Venice" is still a classic. How many other TV shows have a bad guy put a collar on some woman that will contract and strangle her if she makes any sudden noise?

2). Sapphire & Steel

"Transeuranic (sp?) heavy elements may not be used where there is life..." David McCullam was grumpy as The Invisible Man...yet appeared to have male PMT in this one. I vividly recall hiding under a cushion at the episode where Sapphire's face turned into a pile of gory, maggoty mess. Scary!

3). Gemini Man

Shite and then some by today's standards, but remember that digital watches were highly sought after and uber-expensive back then. Especially ones that made you invisible.

4). Grange Hill

Back in the day this was gritty drama with scenes to rival Alan Clarke movies for stomach-knotting tension. Remember Booger Benson and his mate kicking fuck out of Tucker Jenkins for grassing? Remember the racial fight between black, Asian and white kids with Gripper Stebson? Remember the "chicken" episode where a lad fell to his death? Or when Claire's dad nearly beat up Mr Sutcliffe because he thought he'd been shagging his daughter? All utterly mind bending and replaced in later years by....someone being gay/ getting pregnant/ shoplifting. Devolved into a pile of PC horse piss and was thankfully put to sleep after 30 years in 2008.

5). and the winner is....

The Flashing Blade

Ah yes, silly French, badly dubbed swashbuckling thing that was brilliant only for the rousing opening theme and the awesome collection of clips from the show that it played over. Love the way those two mooks somersault when the explosion goes off.

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