Whenever I was having a good time. Be it a dinner, a movie or just watching a sunset. I knew it would end so I decided not to enjoy it so much so it didn't hurt so badly when I had to go.
Whenever I had sex I thought it was more than just sex. I wanted to continue. I believed something that felt this good must be as special to the other person. I couldn't just enjoy the act for what it was and move on.
Whenever I felt I was becoming good at something I was afraid I would fail, so I never aimed high. Only medium.
Whenever I had an opportunity I tried to take it with one eye turned away. That way I would never be too bothered if I didn't get it.
Whenever I felt bad in a situation I thought everyone did or should know how I felt, solely because it was so intense to me
Whenever I felt GOOD in a situation I thought everyone did or should know how I felt, solely because it was so intense to me.
I thought the bullies that hurt me and the people who made me smile knew exactly what they'd done.
It turns out they rarely did.
These emotions are what we patronisingly call "childish."
It takes some of us a lifetime to realise.
Some of us never do.