Friday, 17 February 2012

Pussy problems

The joys of having a cat are many.

The downsides are many too.

Rain (black and white, small featured cat) was an adoption from the Cats Protection League. They have a shop in town, staffed by women with big bottoms. She cost me 50 quid and as soon as she arrived she found the hidey hole behind the bath and didn’t come out for about 6 hours. I eventually had to take the front panel off the bath and drag her out.

She’s a companion and very playful. I invested in a £2 lazer pointer off Ebay and it was 200 pence wisely spent, as she spends ages tearing round the flat trying to catch the red dot.

After about 3 weeks she decided she wanted to sleep with me. All very lovely. It’s now a ritual that I’ll go to bed. Then I’ll hear her on the stairs, then see a face peering down at me from the bedside cabinet. After judging the jump for a couple of minutes she will then leap onto the pillows, usually catching my hair under her paws. She will then spend a good 5 minutes purring and flexing her claws in the cushions before settling down.

As soon as she hears my footsteps on the staircase leading up to the flat, when I come back from work she kicks up a din of plaintive meows, so pleased to know I’m home. I pick her up and she always licks my face (which is apparently unusual for a cat) and makes a fuss.

As a man living alone who recently broke up with his long term girlf…an affectionate cat is something to look forward to coming home to.

But…

Anything I leave on table tops that she can bat onto the floor, she will. Usually with a contemptuous smirk on her face. So far she’s monged both my mobile phones and the front light off my bicycle in this rather petulant fashion.

Another thing is that while very well potty trained (she used her tray within 5 minutes of arriving), her shit stinks to the highest peak of Ben Nevis. I got her Go-Cat Indoors, which is meant to reduce the smell. Christ on his throne knows what the outdoor variety smells like. I can be two rooms away and within 2 minutes of her taking a dump my eyes start to burn and I have to quickly shovel it all down the bog and flush the chain while trying to hold my breath.

She also occasionally hangs her arse out the wrong end of the tray meaning she will drop her bundle on the floor. Nice to come home to.

Her kitty litter is the more expensive wood chip variety. This swells up to absorb piss, but when I had a tantrum and threw an entire tray’s worth down the khazi (after she had shat on the floor in protest at me not changing her tray for a couple of days) it blocked the pan and I then had to spend an hour digging it out with my hands.

Rain also gave me a shock that Stephen King would have been proud of when I moved my head in the night. Thinking she was a pillow I was startled awake by it moving and hissing at me.

She also hates having her paws touched. This is proving an arse ache with regard to clipping her claws. She has a swipe like Freddy Kruger and so far the only way I’ve managed to do it is to wait until she’s in a DEEP sleep and then quickly snip one or two while she’s dozing. She will however quickly wake up, hiss at me and then bolt.

Moulting is proving an issue. As she’s a house cat and never goes out she can’t moult with the seasons and appears to do it just for the hell of it. My sofa now looks like it has designer stubble and I have found the only way to get it off is to hoover it. Hoovering a sofa…not what they were designed for.

She’s now fast asleep behind me. But I know that she’ll wake up soon enough and start flying round the house kicking up a din.

I like her anyway.


2 comments:

  1. Lance,

    Get a magic brush for the moulting. It works it's magic at chez zig zag.

    AZZ

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have a hand-held Dyson at home for that purpose :-) Might be easier than getting the Hoover out every day

    ReplyDelete

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