Nothing to brighten up a boring evening more than one of those scam MSN Messenger things that occasionally crop up from "women" with exotic-sounding names. This thing was called Paris Pussy and I had a whizzy jolly time taking the piss out of "her".
NOTE TO ALL. It is a fully autmoated scam, noone is actually messaging you, as you will see when you read this.
[19:23] paris: hi
[19:23] Lance: hi there
[19:23] paris: hi how are you today?
[19:23] Lance: bit rubbish, my mother died of cervical cancer and the dog shat on my chest while I was asleep.
[19:23] paris: my name is paris I'm doing great today I'm 21 yrs old how old are you?
[19:23] Lance: 15
[19:24] paris: listen hun, I am just about to start my webcam show with jen, come chat me there in my chat room? We can cyber, I will get naked if u do..lol!
[19:25] Lance: my God, you will let me see you naked. but I'm only into old women riding unicycles while covered in pancake batter and slapping other old women on unicycles (covered in pancake batter) with kippers. Can you fulfill that criteria?
[19:25] paris: I can show u how to watch free if u promise not to tell anyone else how to do it???PLEASE:-$
[19:26] Lance: I am actually registered blind and lost my genitalia at the age of 13 when I stuck my knob in the lawnmower one fateful summer's day. I am a bit nervous of seeing you naked? Are you good looking? I only like really ugly women like Margaret Thatcher.
[19:27] paris: well since its free the law that u gotta be 18 (nudity involved), u have to sign up with a credit card for age verification! BUT .. Once you are inside, just clikc on "Webcams" let me know what name you use to sign in with so I know it is you babe! http://www.localpartylounge.com/vicky fill out the bottom of the page then fill out the next page as well and u can see me live for free!
[19:28] Lance: I don't have a credit card and I've already told you I'm 15 so why are you still pursuing this oh predatory, shower cam woman? Oh I know it's coz this is actually an autmoated scam and as you're not real it doesn't matter what the fuck I type as "you" will still respond. To prove it....wibble, cabbage, Mrs Gandhi, shopping basket, 10 pints of milk and a yogurt please.
[19:29] paris: Please dont mention anything about that in the chatroom once u get in ok?:-$
[19:29] Lance: Still trying eh? How about...go to hell you ugly, cynical fuckwit.
[19:30] paris: OH SHIT.. k I am late to start my show, I gotta get off msn...I will see ya inside my chatroom babe.. remember not to mention that I am upgrading u for free... You can use your msn name to sign in so i know it is you.
[19:31] Lance: You are the 5th person to try this with me, even the words are the fucking same as Fifi Fanny Fluff, Maureen the Mammary Monster and Katie Clit Flaps. I told them what I'm telling you. Get a proper job and stop preying on gullible onanists with credit cards. Now fuck off and die bitch!!!
[19:31] paris: AUTO-RESPONSE: hey just in the middle of my free webcam show if you want to watch click the link http://www.localpartylounge.com/vicky
[19:32] Lance: I shall type crap for a bit longer until the kettle boils just to see what you send back. Flibbidy-dibbidy-dob, my old man's a dustman, broadsword calling danny boy.
[19:32] paris: AUTO-RESPONSE: hey just in the middle of my free webcam show if you want to watch click the link http://www.localpartylounge.com/vicky
[19:33] Lance: hmmm...time I blocked you methinks. Hope you die soon.
[19:33] paris: AUTO-RESPONSE: hey just in the middle of my free webcam show if you want to watch click the link http://www.localpartylounge.com/vicky