Sunday, 23 November 2008

Lance Rising....

Sunday was fairly fun, although the line “sorry I am loyal” did nothing to dampen my raging libido and meant I mooched home feeling horny and pissed off.

A pal of mine invited me over to have a beer and help proof read an English translation that she'd done of an Italian art house movie. I was greeted at the front door by the fattest cat I've ever seen. Black and white it looked like a furry football. My pal's excuse for this clinical obesity in her feline chum was “it's since I had her womb done”. So ladies be warned, ever have a hysterical rectum and your weight will balloon.

After a boring hour looking through some occasionally atrocious grammar we went down to the local pub where a beer was €5 a pint and although mine was ok as I'd opted for real ale, hers resembled an ice cream it had so much froth and a request to fill it up was met with “no it's meant to look like that” from the lying twat behind the bar. Lots of Rome FC fans in there after the game, who amazed me by only having one pint and then leaving quietly. God forbid they ever play an English team in the Champion's League. Told my pal I fancied her and even though her boyfriend is in another city and she sees him once a month she cites loyalty as a reason to not want to take her pants off with me. Oh well.

After forwarding the finished film text to her employer I hopped on a tram home and realised after 2 stops that I'd left my sodding pen drive in the Internet cafe. Hopped off again and ran swearing back to the cafe just as it was closing. Everyhing I've done is on there, including the book I'm currently writing so I was relieved but sweating to find it still stuck in the PC's orifice when I got back.

Finally got more teaching hours. I now have 18 and a half which is kind of nice and means I can go shopping without having to fill up the basket with those self-advertising poor person brands (in Italy they are yellow and white with a picture of a smiling one Euro coin on the front) which kind of say to everyone as you unload at the till “hey guys, I am either poor or mean or possibly both!”.

I was recently told by a woman who'd shagged a friend of mine that he thinks “Lance always walks like he's marching off to war”. In my last job this posed a difficulty as one creature who was put to tutor me stated it was a “cocky strut that could be off putting to people”. At the time I tried to correct it but now I like it. Maybe it was the reintroduction of earrings, maybe the Fallen But Defiant Angel tattoo, maybe the beard or even the long hair but this increase in my liberty has made me realise that I like how I walk and if you don't then look the other way.

Turns out America is in an even worse state with regard to national bankruptcy than we first believed. The Senate have now refused to vote on a “bail out” option meaning that yay or nae we'll never know but the 30,000 people out of work in time for Xmas have nowt to smile about. Nice news footage on CNN of Dubya showing Obama around the White House before he takes over. I wonder what will happen to Bush when he retires. Clinton makes money on the lecture circuit. As noone I speak to appears to like (or even to have voted for) Bush, then he may be spending his days fishing or hiding from the demons of his past.

Jealous as I am you have to admire the author (forget her name now) of Twilight, the vampire romance. The fourth book came out this year and the movie opened in Italy last night. Lots of teenage girls in my English classes have been squealing in lessons about how thrilled they are to be going to see the movie this weekend and are in love with Edward the leading bloodsucker. They go all gooey just at the mention of this subject (and get cross when I say I think Edward will become gay in the 5th book) and it seems we now have another niche in the market covered after Jordan's Wheel of Time for adults, Rowling's Harry Potter for little ones and the Daily Mirror for the terminally stupid.

My book is going strong. Wrote 19 pages yesterday. Most difficult thing is dealing with the emotions that regurgitating all this bring up.

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